Temporary Insanity
by caramel.starberry
Summary: Living with Sasuke-kun because Naruto and Ino accidentally burnt down my house trying to cheer me up wasn't really what I had in mind when I decided to get over him once and for all.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi there! This is my very first fanfiction ever. I've found that I enjoy reading stories where they text/email/etcetc, and figured I could try at writing one, since I enjoy reading them so much 8)_

_So anyway, yes. This is my first story ever, so I'm really sorry if it's terrible! Give me some love and criticism, and I'll try my best to grow with my story!_

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><p>Dear Beautiful-Pink-Sparkly-Diary-of-Sparkles,<p>

Let me start off with the big decision I have made. I will now write it down on paper and underline it to make it official: I have decided to get over Sasuke-kun. Forever.

**BECAUSE I AM A STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, INDEPENDENT WOMAN.**

…At least, that's what I like to tell myself when Sasuke-Kun-Love-of-My-Life-Sasuke-Love-Love replies to me with his stupid expeditious grammatically incorrect _sounds_. No, really. This was the conversation we just had. Like two minutes ago, before I ran away to sulk and to scribble my thoughts down in you, my beautiful pink book, you.

Beautiful-strong-independent-woman: Hi, Sasuke-kun! How's your day so far?

Iceblock: Hn.

Sad but beautiful: Oh.. Uhm. That's great too. How was class?

Jerkblock Iceface:…Hn.

Spited beauty: Right…I think I hear the Pig calling, I'll see you later Sasuke-kun!

Insert running away here.

Now tell me this: do I look like one of his fangirls? I get the exact same response as his fangirls. After years of non-replies, it really destroys a girl's hopes and dreams, it does.

I'm writing in the bathroom, of all places, locked inside the stall in the farthest corner, sitting on the toilet lid. Hiding my shame from the world. _SHAME!_ Well. Shame and..Ino. I'm afraid to face her; she'll know something's wrong and I'll end up telling her and I'm afraid I'll burst into tears in the middle of History class, where Sasuke-kun sits exactly five seats to my left, right next to a window. Though, I doubt he'd even notice if I burst into tears if it weren't for the throngs of people who would draw attention to me. The only reason he'd probably even look over at me would be because the noise from my piteous sobbing would annoy him.

_Sigh._

It smells so bad in here. What the hell, seriously, I thought girls didn't take craps. Like how girls don't sweat, we _perspirate. _We don't fart; we _pass gas, etc, etc._ It should not be so egregiously disgusting in here.

But I'll have to take it like a woman, because I'm in here to really rethink my non-relationship with Sasuke-kun. Without disturbances from any loud and random blondes (I'm looking at Ino _and_ Naruto here.) We've known eachother since we were 2. One would think that after so long, I'd get used to his not-attention, but no. It still hurts every time he treats me like one of his silly airheaded fangirls.

So, Pink-Diary-Of-Cuteness, that's why I have decided to officially _get over Sasuke-kun._

Ooh, my darling Blackberry is telling me I have a new message, successfully taking me out of my sulking! Yay for social networking!

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><p><strong>Conversation with: BeautifulinBlonde<strong>

**BeautifulinBlonde:** Betch! ARE YOU IN THE BATHROOM SULKING AGAIN?

**You:** No..

**BeautifulinBlonde: **DON'T LIE TO ME; I'M IN HISTORY RIGHT NOW AND YOU'RE NOT HERE. WHERE ARE YOU.

**You: **I've decided to drop out and work full time. I'm too annoying to deserve education.

**BeautifulinBlonde: **Brb.

**You:** You're leaving me in my time of NEED? When I feel so ugly and worthless?

**You: **Piggy? Hello?.. )':

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><p><strong>Conversation with: RamenKing!<strong>

**RamenKing!:** SAKURA-CHAN!

**You:** Yes?

**RamenKing!**: why did ino just beat the shit out of me and teme?

**You:** SHE WHAT?

**RamenKing!:** yeah, we all got kicked out of class. im sitting in the hallway with ino and teme right now

**RamenKing!:** oh yea, and where r u?

**You:** I'm coming.

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><p>Dear Fantabulously-Pinkish-Pretty-Diary,<p>

I'm sitting _in the frikkin' office_ right now, waiting for my turn for Tsunade-sama's fist of fury. Fist of judgement? Whatever. The point is I have a bruise on my hip that's absolutely _throbbing_ right now. And Ino, that fat boar, looks completely beautiful and unaffected. I hate her. Let me recount for you, oh Fabulous-Diary of mine, what happened...

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO SAKURA?" Was the first thing I heard on my journey from the girl's bathroom on the second floor towards the History class on the third. I decided to stay behind the corner to see if there's any information Ino-Pig can get for me...Hehehe.

"OWW! Ino! Why'd you have to hit me?" Naruto.

"BECAUSE! You two MUST have done something. Forehead's sulking in the bathroom again." Why does she make it sound like I'm _always_ sulking in the girl's bathroom? It's not like I'm in there all the time!

"Hn. What's your point. She's in there all the time..." Sasuke-kun? How could you betray me like this? I am SO not in the bathroom a lot! I'm -HEY! He noticed me! Happy tear. "...It's like she has some sort of bowel problems or something."

Hey! What the-NO, Sasuke-kun. Just NO!

"Teme, don't say that about sweet Sakura-Chan!" Oh Naruto..Sweet, sweet, Naruto. I can always count on you.

"He's right, you know. She's in there because of you." Ino..? Why are you telling him that he's important to me? SASUKE-KUN IS NOT IMPORTANT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. He is a _non-entity._ Totally, completely, and utterly undeserving of the heart that _I have NOT given him._ I'm not swimming in The Nile or anything, though.

"The TEME? Why would she be sad over him? WHAT DID YOU DO, TEME?" Oh Naruto, sweet, oblivious Naruto..

"Hn. He's right. Why would she-"

"Because! You guys are such..._BOYS!_ How can you not notice this?" ...Oh my god.. Ino.. You better _not_..

I'm seriously considering jumping out from my corner and _TACKLING some sense_ into Ino right now. I don't think it's likely that she's going to get me any information. She sounds more likely to GIVE AWAY THE MOST IMPORTANT SECRET THAT I HOLD THE MOST DEAREST TO ME _EVER."_

_"How can you not notice?"_ INO YOU FAT BOAR YOU BETTER NOT FREAKEN TELL SASUKE THAT I- "-That _silly _pinkette has FREAKEN BEEN IN-"

"AHHHH-"

"ARRGHHH!"

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

"INOOOO!"

"FOREHEAD?"

"Hn."

"QUIT THAT RACKET, I'M TRYING TO TEACH A CLASS HERE!"

And that, dear Diary, is why I'm in trouble now. It's all because of that fat pig that I call my best friend. Why is she my best friend again?

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><p><em>So... There we go! Sorry to put another AN, but I just wanted to know: what do you guys think?_

_Love and review!_

_Love,_

_Caramel._


	2. Chapter 2

"I wasn't going to tell him!" Ino protested loudly after school when I confronted her, huffing as she crossed her arms, looking perfect and blonde and _perfect _and _not bruised._

"You so were! YOU SO WERE, PIG. What the hell was going to come after '_how can you not notice? That _sill_y pinkette has FREAKEN BEEN IN-' ?_ I roared at her. Hehe, roar. Sakura the beautiful, strong, independent LION!

"Uhm..In her own Lala-Land?" She said sheepishly. UGH. She is officially fired as my best friend. FIRED.

"You're officially _fired_ from being my best friend! _FIRED!_" I am so angry at this blonde right now. I hate her.

"Oh shush, Forehead. Come. Let's go get some ice cream. My treat, to make it up to you," She waved her hand around insouciantly and walked away, expecting me to follow her like some _dog_ or something. Seriously. I'm not Kiba or Akamaru; I'm not just going to follow her around whenever she calls-"You can even get gummy bear toppings."

"Ooh, gummy bears!" I pranced after her. I love her.

Hey, what d'you expect? The girl's buying me gummy bears. There's no real way she _really_ meant me any harm-she's buying me gummy bears!

"Are we going to that really cute little store that just opened? YAY, Ino-Pig I love you!" I caught up and linked my arm through hers, humming quietly to myself. A world where there's free ice cream with gummy bears is a great world indee-

"So what're you going to do about Sasuke?" Dark clouds and stormy skies.

"What?" Think about happy stuff. Unicorns..Ponies..GUMMY BEARS..

"What're you going to do, Forehead. Stop thinking about happy stuff for a moment and tell me your plan." My plan? What?

"My plan? For what?" I'm really confused now; What does this girl want from me?

"Your plan of _action_, you idiot. But I guess you haven't told me what he's done to you, so I guess you can start there. Three scoops of pineapple ice-cream with sprinkles for me, and two scoops of vanilla and two of chocolate topped with gummy bears for he-SHIKAMARU?" SHIKAMARU?

"Hey." Wow. It's actually Shikamaru. When'd he get a job?

"When'd you get a job, Shika?" ..Whoa. Ino the mind reader! I could tell she was as stunned as I am, but she managed to recover faster and asked the question plaguing us both.

"A little while ago. My mom kicked me out for the day and said she wouldn't let me back into the house until I got 'off my lazy ass and finally contribute to society,' tch. Troublesome." Shikamaru, in a little white paper hat and a dainty apron, was indeed scooping our ice cream. I'm still stunned speechless; the lazy genius got a job! Granted, it's only because his mom kicked him out, but still. I'm so proud. Happy tear.

"So. Sakura." He was topping my ice cream with gummy bears _and _ sprinkles! I like this new and improved employed-Shika.

"Yes, Shikamaru?" He handed me my little bowl of frozen cream heaven. Oh, and Shikamaru gave us a little bit extra on top of the free sprinkles! I definitely like employed-Shikamaru. That Shikamaru, what a sweetie. No wonder Ino actually likes him, and doesn't just toy with him like most other guys.

"Why'd Ino punch Sasuke in the face and tackle Naruto clear across the room today?" I coughed and spluttered. Not attractive.

"You punched him _in the face?_"

"Yeah. Ooh thanks for the extra sprinkles Shika!" There were cute little dainty tables and chairs everywhere around the store, but Ino and I were standing by the pick-up-your-order-it's-ready area so we could talk to Shikamaru. I'm still trying to process the fact that Shikamaru has now joined the world of _the employed_, and will no longer be bumming around the house/grassyfields/etcetc all the time.

Wow. This is seriously a big change.

"Hn," He did the Sasuke-Man-Grunt. What the hell, do all guys do this and I've just never noticed, or something? "Don't mention it. And yes, she did. Got him really good too, actually." I think Shikamaru just...smirked? Is he..Does he look ..._proud of Ino?_ OHMIGOSH DOES HE LIKE INO? I need to store this information away for later! Hehehehe...

"Forehead, stop cackling like an idiot. People are going to stare." Oh, oops.. "And how did you not notice when you freaking _flying-tackled_ me in the hallway? His cheek was all red and stuff!"

"You didn't hit him hard enough to bruise?" I'm disappointed. I thought Ino could hit harder than that.

"Oh shut up, Forehead. I was hitting from an awkward position, AND his face is _hard_. I have a bruise on my _hand!_" She shoved her (perfectly perfect _no I'm not bitter_) hand in my face.

"..Troublesome woman..Here. I'll go get you some ice. Troublesome.." Shikamaru mumbled before disappearing into the back. Wow. He got off his lazy ass to get Ino ice for her hand...He really has it bad for her! HEHEHEHEHE. The things I can do to pair them up!

"Anyway, Forehead. Just because we were super shocked and distracted by Shikamaru getting a _job-_wow that even sounded weird just to _say-_doesn't mean you're off the hook. Now tell me: what happened?" I think Ino was trying to be serious and demanding, but scooping bright yellow ice cream while trying definitely causes a problematic loss of effect.

"Uhm. Not much, actually..He just..He was just being Sasuke-kun, you know?"

"You mean incorporating absolutely no variety of vocabulary whatsoever when talking?"

"WHAT talking? Sasuke-kun doesn't _talk_. He freaken man-grunts." I'm right. In the gazillion years I've known him, I don't think we've ever had a proper conversation where _both_ of us are speaking normally. It's always been me chattering on while he responds once in a while with either "hn," "aa," "you're annoying," or something equally synonymous.

"Hm. I suppose...Thanks Shikamaru!" Ino replied as Shikamaru came out carrying an ice pack wrapped in paper towels and handed it to her.

"..Troublesome." Shikamaru tilted his chin up a little and stuck his hands in the little pockets on his apron. Ooh, the cute little apron.

"Hey Shika, are you working tomorrow?" Ino opened her mouth so I could feed her some ice cream, seeing as she was holding the ice pack with one hand on her bruised one.

Shikamaru looked a little hesitant before replying, "No, it's Saturday. I don't work weekends. Why? Do you have something troublesome planned.."

I don't blame him for being hesitant. The_ last_ times Ino threw any "get-togethers"...

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><p><em>"WHO GAVE LEE ALCOHOL?"<em>

_"Why?"_

_"HE'S DANCING ON THE ROOF!"_

_"So what?"_

_"HE'S NAKED!"_

"..."

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><p><em>"Oh what a cool lamp, the flames look so realistic!"<em>

_"THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S ON FIRE!"_

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><p><em>"CALIFORNIA GURLZ WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE! DAISY DOOPS BIKINIS ON TOP! WE'RE SO HOT WE'LL MELT YOUR POPSICLES!"<em>

_"...So this is why Neji doesn't eat candy."_

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><p><em>"Ino?"<em>

_"Yes?"_

_"Why is Kiba chewing on your purse?"_

_"HE'S WHAT? NOO! THAT'S MY FAVOURITE ONEE!"_

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><p><em>"Is that... a stripper pole?"<em>

_"Is that...HINATA?"_

_"OH MY GOD, MY INNOCENT HINATA-CHAN!"_

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><p><em>"SASUKE DID YOU JUST THROW SHINO OUT THE WINDOW?"<em>

_"Hn."_

_"WE'RE ON THE THIRD FLOOR!"_

_"Hn."_

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><p><em>"Hinata, why is your and Neji's cat stuck in the cake..running around the house?"<em>

_"..."_

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><p>Ugh. All of Ino's "get-togethers" always ended in disaster. <em>SOMEONE<em> (NARUTO.) always spikes _something_, and it _always ends in disaster._

"YEP! Naruto and I have planned the best get-together to CHEER SAKURA UP! It's going to be _awesome._"

We rotate whose house has the unfortunate luck to host these parties of Ino's, because honestly, it's just plain mean to give one person the onus of hosting all the parties.

..Wait..Ino, Shino, Kiba, Gaara, Neji and Hinata, Sasuke, Naruto, and...everyone else's house...There's only one house left..

"THE ONLY ONE LEFT IS ME!" This is not going to be good. At all.

"_Oh Forehead!_ I knew you were going to agree! There's going to be cooking and baking and.. It's going to go _PERFECTLY!_" Ino gushed happily.

Little did I know how very, very, _very_ wrong she was.

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><p><em>Another chapter!<em>

_R&R, enjoy, etc :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi you guys! Here's another update for youuu (guys). I haven't said this in the previous two chapters but...your reviews give me a warm fuzzy happy aura all around! Every review makes me glow with happiness. You guys have no idea how much it means to me... :')_

_So here's a present for you all, and totally not to try to persuade and encourage you guys to **please review more.** That, and my sister was saying that more chapters is a good thing._

_Thanks so much for all the love, you guys. Keep it up 3!_

_AND, without further ado, here's the third chapter!_

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><p>Dear Beautiful-Pink-Sparkles-Diary-of-Ultimate-Pinkness,<p>

I am currently writing in a Starbucks at 8AM on a Saturday morning.

_WHY_, you ask?

It's my turn to host Ino's... "Get-togethers" this time, and I was kicked out for preparation. She and Naruto decided to force me out of my own home to prepare for a Cheer-up-Sakura-Get-Together thing..._at my house_, and that it was going to be a _"_surprise"..._at my house_.

What dumb friends I have.

(I love them. Sometimes. _I think_.)

So Fatso-Ino and the Naru_tard_ decide to wake me up and kick me out of bed at 6AM. Geez. He's a fricken' teenage boy. I thought teenaged boys didn't even wake up til noon or later? And what person is so hyper so _early?_ I'll admit, I'm an early bird and wake up pretty early and I'm pretty cheery in the morning. But not to this degree. _Never to __this__ degree._

Just proves my theory that neither of them are normal, I guess.

I'm actually really scared of what they'll do to my house. And what's going to happen tonight, what with Ino and Naruto and...everyone. Why oh why, did I leave my house to them? I don't even know who's coming yet!

Ooh, Piggy texted me!

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><p><strong>BeautifulInBlonde:<strong> You're not spying are you? I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU ARE.

**You:** Why's your contact name the same as your IM name?

**BeautifulInBlonde:** Didn't want you to forget how beautiful I am.. :) Now, where are you?

**You:** Starbucks. I hate you. The baristas are wondering why I haven't left yet…

**BeautifulInBlonde:** OOH. CAN YOU BRING ME BACK A CARAMEL MACHIATO?

**You:** NO, YOU SENT ME HERE AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING. I OWE YOU _NOTHING._

**BeautifulInBlonde:** I'm holding Mr. Snugglekins in my hands.

**You:** Hot or cold?

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><p>Sigh, Pretty-Pink-Diary.<p>

My friends are such losers. First she kicks me out of my house and now she makes me buy her Starbucks. What kind of a friendship is this? This is _abuse_, I tell you.

I really-

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><p>"Sakura, yeah?" Hm? Who could it possibly be so early in the morning...<p>

"DEIDARA! Why didn't I see you before?" OH, IT'S HIM—THE GORGEOUS BLONDE WHO LOOKS LIKE INO! Honestly, I think it's kind of freaky how similar in looks they both are. Maybe he's secretly her third cousin twice removed or something?

"My shift just started, yeah. What're you doing here so early, yeah?" He grinned at me and I couldn't help but grin back. He's just such a cutie!

"Ino decided to kick me out of my house so she can prepare for another "get together" to cheer me up..In my own house" I responded, rolling my eyes. It sounded just as silly out loud as it did in my head.

"Oh yeah, that thing, yeah? I'm going today after work, yeah. I hear you've been sitting here for a while—did you want something to drink, yeah? On the house." Cute _and_ nice! I should seriously just fall in love with him instead of ice-cube Sasuke-kun. Wait, freeze. Must not think about Sasuke-kun. Must not even say his name. Must… Forget...

Oh right, he asked me if I wanted a drink!

"Aw, thanks Deidara! But won't you get in trouble for handing out free drinks?"

"Nah, Boss likes me, yeah. And if worse comes to worse I'll just pay for it, yeah. No worries. What would you like, yeah?" Oh, what a sweetie. I should definitely go for someone like him instead. Sigh.

"Uhmm. How about a tall Strawberries n Creme frappacino? Thanks, Deidara, you're the best!" I stayed in my seat in the corner of the store and watched as he walked behind the counter to make my drink.

Deidara's a friend of Sasuke-kun's brother, but we all used to be pretty close- Itachi, his friends, and Sasuke-kun and the rest of us. It wasn't until Sasuke-kun and Itachi had a…falling out, I guess you could say—that our group and Itachi's friends sort of stopped talking as often because Sasuke-kun and Itachi stopped talking. He wouldn't tell any of us what happened, so even to this day, we still don't know.

I was always the smallest out of our entire group of friends, so I guess that's why Itachi and his friends, being older, sort of took on a protective big brother role for me. I sort of missed their big brother niceness when we grew apart. Sad sigh.

My eyes followed Deidara as he flitted around behind the counter, gathering the ingredients and everything needed to make my frappacino. I sighed. Again, for what, the umpteenth time today?

Deidara, Sasori, Nagato, and Itachi were all tall, strong, good looking guys. They were all nice to me too, unlike a certain chicken butt haired guy who's related to Itachi.

_Why did God have to be so cruel and make me fall in love with the one guy who thinks I'm annoying and a bother and not worth his __**words**__?_

**WHY.**

"Sasuke, what's up, yeah?" I heard Deidara's voice as the little bell on the door tinkled to signal someone coming in. Apparently that someone was Sasuke-kun. Oh god oh god oh god oh god. I shrank farther into my seat and flipped open my laptop and hid. I hope he didn't see me. Oh god oh god.

"Hn. Back from my run. Bottle of water." I sneaked a peek from behind my laptop. What? Just because I've decided to give up on him doesn't mean I can't admire him from afar...Right?

He pulled a five dollar bill from his...shoe? Well I guess there aren't many places to keep your wallet when you're running...

"2.34. So Sasuke, you going to Sakura's tonight, yeah?" Sakura..That's me! Oh god, oh god. Deidara, _shut up! _It's a Cheer-Sakura-up-Get-Together party for a _reason_, and that reason is because I'm getting over _Sasuke-kun_, so he's obviously not going to-

"Hn. Keep the change. I didn't know about it. Who's throwing it?" See..He uses proper words with other people...Why never with _me..? _AARGH stupid Sasuke-kun.

"Ino, yeah. It's another one of her "get-togethers," only this time to cheer Sakura up. They kicked her out for preparations, yeah, see, she's right over here. Here Sakura, one Strawberries n Creme frapp on the house, yeah!" He set down my drink in front of me. I peeked up behind the safety of my laptop to see Sasuke-kun. Just..staring.

"Erm. Hi, Sasuke-ku-_Sasuke._" I refuse to use the suffix on him in front of him anymore. It's a step closer to getting over him.

He raised an eyebrow at me and I held his gaze, determined not to back down. Yeah! Sakura the _STRONG, INDEPENDENT, WOMAN!_

_Ooh, frappacino!_

I brought the green straw to my lips and sipped. _Mmm!_ Heaven.

"I didn't know you needed cheering up." I looked back up at him. It pained me. That handsome face. Those obsidian eyes. Love-of-my-love, Sasuke-kun-soulmate, love.

"Yeah, Sakura. What happened, yeah?" I looked at Deidara. Oh, why, why, _why_, couldn't I have been in love with you instead? You'e so sweet and gorgeous.

"Yeah well, _Sasuke_," I deliberately left out the "kun" again. I'm getting better at this! INDEPENDENT WOMAN, I AM! "There's a lot of things you don't know." _Like how I've been desperately and hopelessly in love with you for __years__, you fricken' human ice cube emotionless __freak!_

The eyebrow went higher up.

"Hn." See? He never tries to uphold _any_ conversation with me whatsoever. What a jerk. What an absolute, freakish, dumb, stupid, _hot, apple-of-my-eye,_ jerk.

"Sakura, you can always come talk to us about anything that's bugging you, yeah? We're always here to listen, yeah?" Deidara's so sweet. I'm not sure to whom he's referring to with those "us" and "we"'s to, but still. At least he tries. Unlike a certain _jerk_.

"Thanks Deidara, and thanks for the frappacino too." I smiled at him. Sasuke-kun's eyebrow went even higher. Whatever.

At this point, Sasuke-kun and Deidara have both pulled up chairs and were sitting at my table with me while I sipped at my deliciously strawberry drink. Mmm, strawberry _goodness_!

"How's the drink, yeah, Sakura?" He was still smiling at me. What a sweetie.

"It's really good! I-" My phone rang:

**Incoming call from: Narutard**

"Yeah, Narutard. As if I'm going to answer _your_ calls. Hmph." I huffed and turned the ringer off, "How long have you been working here, Dei-" I was cut off again by the ringing of my phone, _again._

**Incoming call from: Narutard**

"Why aren't you answering the Dobe's calls?" Sasuke-kun asked me. Sigh. Way to start talking to me _after_ I've decided to give up on you, Sasuke-kun. It's too late now, though. I'm dead set on giving up. There's just too much heartache involved.

"Because he-"

**Incoming call from: Narutard**

Oh my god, Naruto. Persistent much? I finally picked up.

"WHAT?" I roared into the phone. I am Sakura the _Lion,_ and no one messes with me!

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

"Oh my _god,_ Naruto. I think the _everyone _in Starbucks heard you. What do you want?" I hissed at him. My feelings for the Narutard right now are not very positive, considering he abetted in waking me up at 6AM and then kicked me out half an hour later.

"INO. I CAN'T DO IT. I'M TOO SCARED. YOU TELL HER!" I heard him shouting in the background. Were those...sirens in the background? No way. What did those two _do?_

"Naruto…Tell me what you guys did. _Right. Now._" I growled into the phone. From the corner of my eyes I could see Deidara looking curiously and Sasuke raising his eyebrow, _again_. Any higher, Sasuke-kun, and your eyebrow is going _to fly off your face._

"I...I...SAKURA-CHAN! I'M SORRY! WE'RE SORRY!" Naruto sobbed into the phone.

"FOREHEAD, WE'RE SO SORRY. WE DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN! OH MY GOD... I'M SORRY!" Ino started yelling into the phone, completely panic stricken. Oh my god, Ino lost her cool. _WHAT DID THEY DO?_

_"_Ino, Pig. It's okay, it's alright. Don't worry about it. Calm down and tell me what happened." Trying to calm this girl is not the easiest thing to do, but I've had plenty of practice, so I'm good. Deidara and Sasuke-kun both look so confused. Deidara looks cute confused, but he has _nothing_ on Sasuke-kun. Hehe.

"I'M SORRY. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND YOUR EYES SPARKLE LIKE THE CLEAR WATER UNDER THE SUMMER SUN!" Ino's sucking up to me. This _really _cannot be good. My eyes aren't even blue!

"Shhh, calm down Ino. It's all okay, just tell me what happened!"

"WE BURNED DOWN YOUR HOUSE!"

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><p><em>And that's what we have for the third chapter. Please review, alerts and favourites and subscriptions make me happy, but it's your loving reviews that encourage me to write longer and longer chapters and update more frequently...I love to hear from you guys!<em>

_R&R&etcetc! Lots of love,_

_caramel._


	4. Chapter 4

_Ehehehe...Hello, world? Sorry for the MIA, really, I truly am! I worked fulltime for two weeks for a seasonal job and was too tired to even eat, and then school started and the-_

_Yeah, you don't want to hear my lifestory, do you? You just want the chapter?_

_Alrighty, without further ado, I present chapter 4!_

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><p>Okay. Maybe everything's <em>not<em> all okay.

I totally did not just hear that correctly. They said "We turned down your spouse," right? RIGHT?

"You…You guys …what?" I choked on my drink, coughing and spluttering everywhere. Definitely not attractive. This has to be a joke. It's _gotta_ be. The _one_ time I leave those two..._things_ together, they pull this on me!

"Sakura…maybe you should just come here…" She called me by my name. Maybe this isn't a joke.

...

_Shit._

"Sakura-Chan…We really need you to come here. We're so sorry Sakura-chan…" Oh my goodness. I'm really scared now.

"Sakura, what happened? You're shaking, yeah?" Deidara put a hand on my arm to try to calm me down. I was too distraught to gush about how sweet Deidara is.

"I…I-I'm not sure…Ino and Naruto just called and said that…That…" Oh no. I could feel it. I could feel the tears beginning to pool around my eyes. I definitely did not want to cry in front of Sasuke-kun. Never again.

"Hn. What happened, Sakura?" Sasuke-kun asked me, something flickered across his eyes. Care? Annoyance? Curiousity? It really didn't matter right now.

"They said that my house just…burned down…I…I need to get home…R-Right away…" Oh great. Now I was stuttering in front of Sasuke-kun. At least Deidara didn't seem to mind. He was just focused on a spot on the table, thinking about something.

Sasuke-kun got up to leave. He's _leaving_ at a time like this? What kind of a—

"Are you coming? I thought you said you needed to get home right away." He looked back at me as he opened the door out of the coffee shop.

–great person Sasuke-kun is!

Deidara finally seemed to snap out of his reverie with an "aha!" like he figured something out. No time to worry about him now. I grabbed my laptop and diary and stuffed it into my bag, leaving my frappacino on the table, forgotten.

"I'll be right behind you, yeah?" Wait, what?

"You're leaving when your shift just began?"

"Yeah, it's no problem, yeah. One of my friends need help, I'll be there, yeah. I'll just go change and I'll hop in my car and meet you there, yeah?" He got up and walked behind the counter and out of sight. What a sweet guy.

I followed Sasuke-kun out to the parking lot where his motorcycle was parked. It's this sleek, black, racing motorcycle of some sort. A little while back, I stuck a bright pink Hello Kitty sticker somewhere on it. I wonder if it's still there.

NO TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.

"...Wow..." Just...wow. I am rendered speechless. This...this is just ineffable.

"I mean. I knew you the two of you together were capable of unspeakable evils but this...Is just. Wow." Because really, I had no other words to say to this.

"OH, SAKURA-CHAN, WE'RE SO SORRY. WE DIDN'T MEAN TO. IT'S JUST...WE.. WE WERE JUST...THE OVEN..AND..AND..." Naruto threw himself at me and clung, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.

Actually, when I'm through with him, there wont _be_ a tomorrow for him.

"Oh, Naruto, get off-" I was cut off by Ino throwing herself at me, clinging onto the other side. Oh _joy_.

"WE-WE WERE JUST TRYING TO B-B-BAKE YOU A CAKE. IT-IT WAS GOING SO W-WELL. UNTIL...UNTIL..THE ICING. A-AND THE-THE...OH, IT WAS JUST SO HORRIBLE!" She sobbed into the other shoulder of my shirt. It was too hard to think about the current situation at hand, so instead I opted to focus on something much easier.

"Yes, you guys. Ruin the last article of clothing that I have. No, really. I don't mind at all," I said dryly. If my brain were working properly, I'd be freaking out about what to do about all of...This. But it wasn't working at the moment. All I could do was comment on side-things like my now ruined shirt and stare at the being-put-out flames.

"WAAAGHH!" Ino and Naruto jumped off of me as though _I_ were the one on fire and clung onto eachother, sobbing hysterically. Yes, that's right you guys, ruin your own clothes!

I'm not bitter, _at all_.

Actually, my house is currently _burning down_, so I think I have the right to be bitter and angry.

"OH FOREHEAD...IT WAS JUST..AND THE.. IT..." She sobbed into Naruto's shoulder. Wow, she really _is _upse-

Who the hell am I kidding, she helped to _burn down my goddamn house_. That's right. _Be_ upset, Fatso! Ugh. Enough distractions. I really need to try to focus on the matter at hand...

I took a big breath of air and made sure my voice didn't quiver before speaking. Yeah, I'm _strong_ Sakura!

(No I'm not. I really want to just burst out in tears right now. But not in front of Sasuke-kun. _Never again_.)

"Guys...I don't think I'm ready to hear what happened just yet. Just...I'll ask for it when I'm ready, alright?" Yesss, not even _one_ quiver! I deserve an accolade or something.

"Forehead, you can borrow all of my clothes, anytime!" She sniffled. Aww, Ino-pig. I knew how much her clothes meant to her, and for her to say that...Well, I just can't stay mad at her. Not that I was ever really _mad_ to begin with. Just...I don't even know right now. I'm not sure I'm ready to face this yet.

"SAKURA-CHAN. YOU CAN COME STAY WITH ME! WE CAN BE ROOM-MATES!" He held my hands in a very Rock Lee-ish way. Honestly, it was very creepy. I smacked him. It really wasn't the best idea to live with Naruto. For one, he eats nothing but ramen, and for two: the creepy neighbor who sometimes checks up on him to make sure he's alive and stuff is a serious _pervert_.

"Uhm. Naruto, maybe it's not the-"

"No." Everyone (except the firefighters-they were busy trying to salvage what was left of my home. But I'm _not thinking about that right now,) _whipped their heads around because that was _definitely_ not me that spoke out.

"Sasuke-kun?" Crap. Forgot to take out the suffix again.

"Teme? What do you MEAN no?" Yeah! What does he _mean_ no? Who does he think he is?

"She's staying with me." He's obviously delusional and needs to visit the hospital.

"You're obviously delusional and need to visit the hospital." Oh crap. I said that out-loud, didn't I?

"This is perfect! Sasuke has like a million rooms in his house-mansion-thing of his, so there's more than enough room for you, _and_ there's no creepy pedophile next door!"

"I'm not living with Sasuke-kun." I said dryly. Oh _crap._ The suffix again.

"Anyone else you stay with, you will just be imposing yourself upon. Anyone else you consider staying with will not have the financial ability to support you and themselves while living the same lifestyle." Wow. I think that's like a speech for him. I'm kind of proud of you, Sasuke-kun!

What. A. Jerk. Now I can't stay with anyone else with a clean conscience. What the hell, Sasuke-kun, _seriously_. But...I guess it's true...I can't just..

BIG SIGH.

"But.. I can't just.. There's...But..."

"Hn. Here are the keys. Do you really think it's fair to intrude on someone who doesn't have the means to support you?" Naruto...Ino-Pig... Deidara... Help me here! _HELP ME_.

"But-Sas-but-there..."

"Hn. Sakura. Shut up. Here are the keys. You can come or you can impose on others. Your choice." He walked off with his Sasuke-kun swagger, hopped onto his bike, and left us.

What a horrible day. And it's not even noon yet.

* * *

><p><strong>N<strong>**ew IM from BeautifulInBlonde !**

**Conversation with BeautifulInBlonde:**

**BeautifulInBlonde**: FOREHEAAAAAAD

**You:** WHAT.

**BeautifulInBlonde: **Are you sure you don't want to stay with me? I'm sure no one will mind. They all love you and stuff!

**You:** I've told you this before, Fatso. Sasuke-kun was right. I can't just impose myself upon you guys like that. It's just not fair.

**BeautifulInBlonde:**...I abetted in the _burning_ down of your _house_.

**You:** yeah. but still. Sasuke-kun's rich and stuff. He wouldn't mind if I paid rent late.

**BeautifulInBlonde:** You're shitting me if you think he's going to make you pay rent. Actually, _he's_ going to be shitting _himself_ if he thinks I'm going to let him make you pay rent! And besides, Forehead. You never hand in _anything_ late. Ever. Not once. Not for anything. Ever. _Ever_ ever.

**You: **OH MY GOD HOW AM I GOING TO TELL MY PARENTS?

**BeautifulInBlonde**: I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

* * *

><p>I'm currently sitting in Starbucks right now (<em>yes, <span>again.<span>_)

The firemen were kind enough to help me sort everything out and..whatnot. I'm not quite sure what happened because it's all a blur now. But. They were really nice.

And hot. (hehe.)

But yeah. All my stuff is safe, my house is salvaged, etcetc. But they said I wont be able to live in there again for a while. A _long, long_ while. I guess I _will_ have to stay at Sasuke-kun's...

_How_ will I fricken' tell my parents this? WHEN IS INO GETTING HERE I NEED HER DAMN ASSISTAN-

* * *

><p><strong>New IM from <span>BeautifulInBlonde<span> !**

**Conversation with BeautifulInBlonde:**

**BeautifulInBlonde:** Ehehehe..Where are you?

**You:** You..You didn't even know?

**BeautifulInBlonde:** Just shut up and tell me where you are!

**You:** I'm in Starbucks.

**BeautifulInBlonde:** OH OH!

**You:** No.

* * *

><p>"FOREHEAAAAD!" Ino-the-Pig screeched as she threw herself through the doors to Starbucks. <em>Seriously<em>, any more of this loud-friends-thing in here and I'm going to be _banned_ from Starbucks. They'll have, like, a picture of me and hang it up at every Starbucks, instructing their baristas to kick me out the moment they see me, for fear of disruption.

That would _suck_.

* * *

><p><em>Pleasepleaseplease don't kill me or be upset if I don't update again for another long time, I'm not on a hiatus or ditching you guys or anything, I really do love this story-I'm just really busy with school and stuff :x<br>I LOVE YOU GUYS! _

_caramel._


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